Working From Home VS Not

Has your partner ever said to you “you’re lucky that I ________”? As in, “You’re lucky that I cook ya know, most husbands don’t”. Really? That day, my husband came home (and as always I was sitting at my computer, with nothing made for dinner, or even prepped) and said that, to me. For a brief moment, I admit, I did feel bad. I mean, I work from home, couldn’t I have started something? At least pulled out a cutting board and a knife to create an air…an intention…something? For the brief time our eyes were locked, the last 10 years of my life flashed before me. Side note: Our whole marriage, before and after kids, he has cooked. He is a great cook, even went to George Brown for culinary. He owns a butcher shop in Muskoka for the love of God…I mean, this guy LOVES to cook and eat. So it has just evolved over time that he is the family chef. So why say this to me now? With our eyes locked, him looking tired from working all day and having to come home to make dinner; me, looking tired from working (albeit at the kitchen table) all day, and having no culinary talent whatsoever…we were locked in a dead zone. Each thinking the other had it good. Then it hit me. He has no idea what he’s talking about! Then the last 10 years started to bubble up from my chest to my throat, out my mouth. As his eyes look away, I started. Here’s how the rest of the convo went:

I realize you cook, and I love that. You wouldn’t last a day if I did the cooking. And what if you didn’t do the cooking, would you just come home from work and sit on the couch and watch TV? Do you even realize the things that YOU are lucky that I do? For instance, ever notice how there’s always toilet paper on the roll? Or toothpaste in your drawer? Or how there’s food in the fridge for you to make dinner? Crazy how the girls (our daughters) got a dental checkup, physical and their eyes checked this year. Who made those appointments? Ever fill out a school form? Volunteer on that school visit to the mayor’s office? Have you ever bought one, ONE! birthday present, Easter egg, Valentines gift, stocking stuffer? Do you ever change the kitchen hand towel, or the espresso machine filter? Do you even know baseboards need to be dusted? Or that the fish’s water needs to be changed? Have you ever waited 1.5 hours for your eldest to finish gymnastics, or wake up at 6am to register for the coveted swim lesson times? Do you even know when the kids need new underwear, knapsacks, even a haircut? DO YOU KNOW SHEETS NEED TO BE WASHED???

God. I could go on and on and on. It’s actually cathartic to write about it. If you have been nodding your head this whole time, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. Working from home somehow makes it seem that you can fit in all the regular house/family stuff “in between” working. It’s sooo not the case. At this point, I’m ready to go work in the shed, ya know, so I’m not technically “working from home”. Sigh. 


Andrea